I want to be.....

                            My ambition someday is I want to be a successful nurse someday so that I can help my family and other people that is having a diseases. This is my ambition in lifre and I want it to achieve this kind of goal. So that I can help some people and my family. In some case of emergency I can use my savings. And to help my family and I will be the one that used my money so that I will be the one will support to the schooling of my two sister. then to help my mother and father to saved money. And so that they can buy what they want. Then when I am in high school from now on I will study hard so that I can acheive my goals or ambition.

My high school life

                             First day of school I felt nervous because this is the first time in high school.On the first day of my school I have no new friends except to my friends when I was in elementary. We had a game called  bingo then this is the time that i gain more friends. And I meet also my new clsssmate they name is jeannie, mac, blessed, valerie, jeva, jastin, geneil and some more. They  became also my friends and friendship until from now on.  In high school is where I am happy because when  I get in trouble there is my friends that beside me and help me. They are my super friends for ever because we threate each other not only a friends but a brothers and sisters but also we threate each other a one big happy family. After a one month the school had a activity called aquintans day this can also help us to gain and gain friends. And to meet also on the other section some friends. After the activity we had another new friends. When there's a problem I know that this is another challenges or task that could finish or to fix it because this is my part of my life. And I am happy in my high school life.

ABOUT MYSELF

When I was a child, I grow up in my grandmother together with my aunts and uncles. My grandmother is the one who took care and served as my second mother. They took care of me when my mother and father were not around. Because they were searching for work so that we can saved money and they can sustain our daily needs. We can use it also in case of emergency that can happen. My two aunts that work in Israel are the one who support me so that I can go to school. They wanted me to be a person that is full of faith in God. They raise me as a loving, kind and respectful child.

When I was in grade school, I could remember that my attitude slowly changed. I started to disobey my grandparents, I don’t follow them often and I become lazy in doing school works. Oftentimes my teacher scolded me because I am not listening and participating in school activities and I become naughty and bully inside the class. I turned out to be like this maybe because I wanted everyone’s attention. I wanted that they notice me because I longed for my parent’s presence. In that way I can feel that I am surrounded and I am not alone. Though I am naughty, I am also a nice person and a very good friend. If a person is good to me I am also good to them but if you are bad to me I can also be a worst enemy. I know having this attitude is really bad but this is my personality that even when I was in grade six, when my mother had a baby I’m jealous of her because the attention of my parent’s is focus on her and I become the second best to them.

One time on our retreat in SRA, I was touched  and I desire to change for the better, I want to be a well mannered person that I can give joy to my friends, my classmates, my teacher, my family, my parents and most of all to be a good steward of God. That day I confessed my sins and I promised that on that day and all throughout my life, I will live in accordance to God’s plans for me. After I confessed I do some reflection that when I am doing wrong it can affect also one’s feeling.

 Eventually it’s not easy to change what you are fond of doing, I found myself returning to my old attitudes. How I try my best to be a good person but I can’t do it. Sometimes I’m getting tired of doing some household chores, I’m getting bored of studying and I’m getting sick of going to school. I wanted to have fun, to live life to the fullest and to be loved. Could I blame anybody why I grow up to be like this? No, I believe I don’t have the right I understand that my parents have to work away from home, away from us, away from me because it’s for my own good; it is in preparation for my future. What I am now is the product of my own doing. Change is hard but determination would knock off difficulties. I promised to myself that I will be the best that I can be – a person who is morally upright and I would be a productive citizen of this country.

When I see families that goes to church together or simply walking together I feel envious, but realizing that I shouldn’t be because though I am not with my family I know and I am assured of their love to me. I may not be with them always, yet I know spiritually they are with me always and their love is true and eternal. When I see students of my age who can buy what they want and anything they desire I feel jealous but reflecting on it, I know I’m blessed enough that I can buy my needs and I can still eat three times a day and that’s something I should be thankful for. I should be contented of what I have; I should be happy and thankful for it.

When life is darkened by doubt God has the best to show and to light the path I’m taking. He has the best way to make me realize that I am not alone, that he is with me all the way. Problems are part of human life. When they come on my way I never forget to be optimistic. I tend to be always positive. I treat problem not as blockage or hindrances but rather stepping stones for me to be able to face life’s biggest difficulties and a ladder for me to reach my goal. This could be a challenge from God for me to be strong and for me to strengthen my faith and to lean on Him and have neither fear nor doubt on this goodness because in Him nothing is impossible.  

Now, I can say that I am changing. I am trying, no, I am doing my best to be the person my family and God wants me to be- a person responsible and ready to face the competitive world that awaits me. I am happy of what I have now, of what I am, I am loved, I am blessed.